Remember
Christina Rossetti · 1862 · Petrarchan sonnet
Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.
Meaning
A farewell poem that changes its own mind: it begins by asking to be remembered and ends by releasing the mourner from the obligation.
Analysis
The octave repeats 'Remember me' three times with increasing urgency — this is the request as first drafted, insistent and a little frightened.
The sestet reverses everything on the hinge word 'Yet'. Love, having asked for permanence, decides the beloved's ease is worth more than its own memorial.
The generosity is what makes the poem devastating. Rossetti gives away the one thing the dying can still want, and the final rhyme — sad against had — closes gently instead of resolving triumphantly.
Craft notes for your own writing
- Let the sestet argue against the octave.
- Reverse your own request; self-correction is emotionally rich.
- End quietly when the subject is grief.